Still ostensibly working on this cursed sociology essay: No deadline is the most terrible of all deadlines. It's not that I'm the only one still working on my paper, but I worry that with every day, my professor's expectations climb higher.

The paper itself does not get any better.

I had two family Christmases this weekend and walked away with a cookbook and several gift cards good at some of my favorite gigantic stores. One great thing about B-town is the confluence of power south of me on 371. Best Buy, Target, Cub Foods — it's good to know that I've got access to everything I'd need in the event of an apocalypse. And at such low low prices.

There's also a plethora of good restaurants. They're all good, except for Grizzly's. The food at that place is terrible.

Both Xmases were enjoyable in a family sort of a way. My relatives don't have much to say to me for the most part, and I don't have interesting answers to crucial questions like "how's Chicago" and "what are you doing next year."

My dad, meanwhile, was none-too-subtly riding Bill O'Reilly's "Save Christmas" bandwagon. Going out of his way to, even.

Thank you, Fox News, for making Christmas a political issue for my family. I really needed to hear a bunch of talking points about various store policies and the malicious intent hidden in the all-inclusive phrase "Happy Holidays."

It's not as if Christmas itself isn't already becoming secular. Fox says 96% of Americans celebrate Christmas, and yet only around 80% of Americans are Christian — no, wait, nevermind.

See how tempting it is to argue about this! It's political dynamite, or gold. Whatever you need.